I rarely hear the words “I don’t know” uttered at church. And yet the triune Creator of time and space will always be wrapped in mystery and holiness. Why not start in the seat of humility? Surely all of us have gotten a few things wrong in our attempts at Christianity.
Greek Oracles: Oh, great Ares, will there be victory in our battle tomorrow?
Egyptian Oracles: Yo so I want to buy this cow from my neighbour but he’s kind of a skeev, is the cow okay?Greek Oracles:
Oh mighty Apollo, should we wage war against the Persians?
Woman hopped up on gas fumes at Delphi: SHEEPS ARE THE BADGERS OF THE MOUNTAINS
Fuck yes, we’re gonna win!
Egyptian Oracles:
Oh Great and Mighty Apis! Should I seek damages from Bukhaaf for his affair with my wife?
Mooooooooooo
You’re totally right, I should decapitate him with a shovel
Greek Oracles:
Glorious Athena, will my ideas be welcomed by people around me?
Woman hopped up on gas fumes at Delphi:
OBJECTS FROM THE SKY ARE PORTENTS OF DEATHSo is that a no?
Egyptian Oracles:
Oh wise Thoth! Should I exact revenge on Sheskaf for loan of an unreturned palette?
Egyptian priest, sighing and filing his nails: he says no
…would he say yes if I provided extra beer?
Greek Oracles:
At Dodona: Oh Zeus will there be springs be good for water?
*Tree rustles*
Priest: Zeus is busy fucking your wife. Consult the tree again later.
Ohhh mannnnn
Egyptian Oracles:
Defified Amenhotep! Can I seek compensation from Piankh as he has not returned my bowl?
*statue doesn’t move*
Can I seek compensation if I give the priests beer for the next month?
*Priest gets up and shoves the oracle statue forward half heartedly with his foot*
Excellent
I hate that so much of the world seems to be saying ‘you’re either Christian or gay, you can’t be both’.
shoutout to LGBTQIA Christians. God loves you! Your sexuality isn’t sin, no matter how many loud “Christians” want to tell you otherwise. Remember that Jesus died for you because he loves you, every bit and piece of you. God can’t fix this part of you because you’re not broken. He loves this part of you just like He loves everything else about you!
You’re strong and I believe in you, just as God does. Don’t worry what those other “Christians” say. God wants us to spread love, and you’re doing amazing.
last night i was trying to think of a bible verse and all i could think was “and the Lord has given us charge over His hamsters”
GUYS I WAS ON A CHURCH’S WEBSITE LOOKING FOR SOMETHING AND THEN THIS POPPED UP OMG
my taste in christian music is just perpetually becoming more obscure
Spending some time with 1 Corinthians 13 these past few days. The way Love is defined always leaves me in awe – there is so much we have yet to learn. This Love that doesn’t look like me, that moves and isn’t rigid, I want to pursue it, never lose sight of it. I want my words and thoughts and actions to be aligned with Love, like partners in a dance following each other’s every step. But You’re the one leading, because I know I can’t love fully on my own. And that’s the point. To learn to Love hand in hand with You.
bennu rising 